31 & Still Single – You’re Not Alone and it’s OK

Women are staying single longer these days and it’s not talked about enough. Well, at least the part where it’s perfectly acceptable to be single at the advanced age of 30 (or in my case 31). Even though our society has by and large become more educated and erudite, somehow it escapes the notice of the mob that it’s not some sort of disease or reason to feel sorry for someone.

Are you tired of explaining to friends, relatives, barely known acquaintances and even strangers why you’re still single? By now they probably preface or close with “I don’t understand how a girl like you can still be single” or “You still have time dear”. But what they’re really saying is: What’s wrong with you? Why won’t you follow the path you’re supposed to follow? Bugger them all is what I say. When the right guy comes along, I’ll snatch him up like that!

For my part, my family has by and large stopped asking. Maybe they’ve decided I won’t have a good enough answer for them or maybe they’ve written me off as the family spinster. I don’t know; I’m just glad they aren’t hounding me. So for me it’s just colleagues, friends, the parents of friends and the occasional chance-met stranger. I’ve long since accepted the woman I’ve grown into being as someone that I am proud to be and don’t speculate that I’m single because there’s something wrong with me or because I’m not “open” to love. There are a myriad of reasons that I’m single and one of them is just plain old bad luck. But being single has forced me to stand on my own two feet, embrace my independence and find out that I really can do it alone if I have to. Which means that not going it alone is a choice. And an important one. It’s more reasons that I’m a fabulous catch and that you are too.

Having said that, I know I get tired of saying the same old thing to people when they ask the dreaded question. So here, in no particular order, are some lines you can use when you get asked. They run the gamut of the old standbys to mildly insulting to designed for shock factor. Some are my own and some are ones I’ve heard over the years. Feel free to take credit for any or all of them as your own. And by all means, feel free to send your favs; I’m always interested in fresh material.

Take it from one who is the Bridget Jones of her own table – with no Mark Darcy in the offing. Things could be a lot worse.

“It’s important to be your own person first, before you’re part of a couple; to be done growing up.”

“I didn’t want to miss out on anything or resent my mate for the things I didn’t get to do.”

“Divorce isn’t an option for me, unlike some people. So I have to get it right the first time.”

“I haven’t settled for anything yet. I’m not about to start with the most important decision of my life.”

“How does it feel to settle? I wouldn’t know.”

“What and settle for something like that guy over there? Oh that’s your husband/boyfriend? Guess you made my point for me.”

“I’m holding out for everything I want.”

“I’m dying of a mysterious disease and don’t want to burden anyone with that.”

“Multiple partners increase the chances of multiple orgasms.”

“My last boyfriend/husband died. Thank you for bringing up such a painful memory.”

“I travel a lot for my job so it’s hard to devote enough energy to a relationship.”

“Would you want to date a woman who won’t provide you with offspring, can change her own breaks, isn’t afraid of bugs and doesn’t cook? Didn’t think so.”

“Men are intimidated by my awesomeness/independence/looks/job etc.”

“Have you looked in a magazine lately? If you’re not a size 0 men aren’t interested, unless of course you want to date total losers. It’s such a double standard.”

“Still single. Why, jealous?”

“Why do you ask? Do you have a doctor/lawyer/stockbroker etc. you want to set me up with?”

“Tell you what, I’ll answer your question when you answer mine: What business is it of yours?”

“Men don’t want to date a porn star.”

With a little help from my friends (and random strangers whose conversations I overheard) that’s my 2¢ for today.

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~ by leslies2cents on June 1, 2011.

15 Responses to “31 & Still Single – You’re Not Alone and it’s OK”

  1. For me, i dont know if it is my looks, my weight or my temperament. It just keep occuring to me that i am lonely and time is runing out. But then, i put my trust in God that soonest, my prince charming wil come calling.

    • I’m not an advice columnist and don’t want to sound preachy, but here are some general thoughts ladies. We all feel at some point (often more so as the holidays approach) that we’re not pretty/thin/smart/fun/ enough and the danger is in letting that fear become a shield that prevents us from putting ourselves out there and pursuing a relationship. Another mistake is to let our happiness hinge on our relationship status. Ladies, you will never be happy in or out of a relationship unless you are happy with who you are. And finally, you can’t wait around and hope to stumble upon a great relationship. You need to get out there. Join a club, try a cooking class, shop at a different market or try speed dating.

  2. Terrific post but I was wanting to know if you could write a litte more on this subject? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Thank you!

  3. We stumbled over here by a different website and thought I might as well check things out. I like what I see so i am just following you. Look forward to exploring your web page again.

  4. I like that one “still single. Why ? Jealous ?”

  5. my younger sisters are all married : (

  6. Lovely!

  7. Love this!!! Thank you for a good chuckle at the end of a craptastic day. 🙂

  8. My sister is 38 and still single 🙂

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